Title： The Blessing of Boredom
Author： Sachiko
In a public housing apartment, at a built-in small desk in a wall-length bookshelf. I am working on the computer.
In the next room, my daughter is diligently copying words from her favorite illustrated encyclopedia onto A4 sheets of paper. The overwhelming amount of text is just like transcribing a sutra. Sometimes I hear her laugh behind the wall, "Ha ha ha!
Soon after my daughter was born, there was a book that impressed me. The hurried city mornings and nights, the cramming of education for children to become someone, and too much stimulation and change can attack children's delicate sensibilities and cause them to lose their natural calmness. This book explains the importance of living a disciplined life with a relaxed atmosphere of words, space, and time.
With the book in my hand, a modern reinterpretation of Steiner education, I looked at my newborn daughter. Even the flickering light from the window shining on her baby blanket seemed a marvel. Indeed, I agreed with the idea.
A few years later, I separated from my husband, and suddenly, there was space -in both space and time. I left behind more than half of my furniture and toys. Most importantly, I no longer had to adjust my plans based on my husband's moods. No more long family meetings to get my busy husband's approval for the small details of day-to-day life. I no longer have to visit my husband's relatives every vacation.
I suddenly had a lot of time on my hands.
With the costs of moving out, divorce mediation, and various financial obligations, I held back from traveling far. It's not that I'm ashamed to face anyone, but right now, I just wanted to retreat and live quietly.
At the same time, if my daughter and I feel like going out, or if we want to attend extracurricular activities, we can do so if we choose to. Such freedom has become possible for the two of us.
With some spare time on my hands, I pulled out that book I had forgotten about, 'Minimalist Parenting: Less is More, Children and Parents Grow Together.
I decided to take it easy on Saturday mornings.
Feel free to sleep in on Saturdays. We'll take our time making breakfast and enjoy a laid-back morning in our pajamas.
Lunch will be simple: rice balls and miso soup. Made with what's at home, and no one will complain.
Come to think of it, since I started considering divorce, there have been very few nights when I could sleep through. I decided that on every Saturday, I would sleep in as much as I liked.
I have come to love my time at home.
QUOTE
Let the children experience boredom. Let them experience "just being here”.
Kim John Payne, Lisa M. Ross,
My daughter, now in elementary school, freely expresses her thoughts to me as her parent, to the point where my younger self would be astonished.'Play with me more,' 'I don't like this food,' and so on. Occasionally, I lose my patience, but after a while, I calm down.
What my daughter is doing now is something I could not do when I was a little girl and when I was married. A life where she can have as much free time as she wants and complain freely being spoiled by her family. It was I who wanted to create an environment like this.
The image at the top of this page is a "Job test” my daughter drew a few years ago. It made me laugh.
I am indeed some kind of an employee. But I am working hard and writing something, hoping to become someone I want to be.
The same is true of her "father," whom we sometimes meet for visitation, and I know that he is also struggling and making efforts in his way.
But from my daughter's point of view, both parents seem to be "laid-back”.
While I was writing this essay my daughter came in from the next room with a small desk and started drawing something that looked like some kind of code..
I have no idea what's so amusing, but my daughter seems to be having fun. I guess that's good enough for today.
Whether she dreams of being a pastry chef, a scientist, or anything else, I find it truly remarkable that she can envision her aspirations. If she spends her time laid back and absorbs happiness into her being, she'll surely become the person she aspires to be, no matter where she ends up.
Call for Donations
Thank you for reading this essay to the end. This essay was written by Single Mother Sachiko for Mother's Day2024. The non-profit organization Single Mothers Sisterhood supports the self-care of single mothers' minds and bodies. Your generous donations will be carefully used to fund the operation of 'Self-Care Workshops for Single Mothers' and 'Expressive Recovery Programs'. The well-being of single mothers is essential, not only for themselves but also for their children. Your support would mean a lot to us. Donations are accepted here.
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