Title： Living in the Present, Delivering to the Future
Author：ei
I open the red-covered diary I picked up and trace the bookmark.
Once I locate today's page, I arrange the words with my usual ballpoint pen.
The paper sinks slightly along the pen tip, perhaps due to the strong pressure.
It somehow feels like it's conveying the weight of the words!
With that thought in mind, tonight as well, I will continue to record the life of us.
Since my son was born, time seems to pass by in the blink of an eye, and I've come to realize the human capacity to forget, for better or worse.
As the phrase "time heals" suggests, it's truly comforting how painful memories gradually blur. Yet, there are so many moments I want to preserve vividly forever.
While photos and videos can supplement memories, it's frustrating how my phone always seems to be missing when I think, "Now's the moment!" I can't seem to capture or remember things perfectly. But I don't want to forget.
That's when the idea of a "diary" came to mind.
I've always enjoyed writing, and as a child, I used to craft stories featuring original characters. As an adult, I've ventured into writing essays as a hobby.
The process of translating the images born within me into words is intriguing, and it would bring me joy if I could gently warm someone's heart who reads them.
While I can't capture everything I see and feel, it seems I can freely pick out significant moments.
So, I bought a diary for the first time in my life.
I chose one with 365 pages, allowing for a five-year record on each day. It feels like creating a novel, which makes me excited. Plus, since I'm writing anyway, I thought it would be nice to have readers.
I record events that resonate with my heart, encountered without the filter of a lens.
For instance, like this.
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March 6 (Wed)
The calmness of early morning at 5 o'clock. Thinking I was all alone in the world, I hurriedly opened the curtains. I saw the lights on in the neighboring house's room and felt truly relieved.
March 12 (Tue)
A day when I couldn't be kind to my son. I wondered why I was in such a bad mood... I muttered "I'm sorry" to his adorable sleeping face, and held a solo reflection session.
April 9 (Tue)
On a rainy day, my son wore a raincoat over his shiny school bag. He looked so precious, like a walking teru teru bozu (a traditional Japanese doll to ward off rain).
April 12 (Fri)
Competing with my son to see who could mix natto (fermented soybeans) into a sticky texture faster. I put too much effort and ended up making a big hole at the bottom of the container! The game ended in an instant, and we burst into laughter together!
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Our daily lives are quite ordinary, often filled with hustle and bustle, and many things don't go as planned.
Yet, the two of us, me and my son, earnestly and freely create our lives each day.
The reader is the future version of myself, one year, two years, three years, and four years from now.
May the vibrancy of these beloved days reach me in the future.
May the hearts of those who read this be gently warmed.
With these thoughts in mind, tonight as well, I will continue to document our lives, the lives of me and my son.
Call for Donations
Thank you for reading this essay to the end. This essay was written by a single mother ei for Mother's Day2024. The non-profit organization The nonprofit organization Single Mothers Sisterhood supports the mental and physical health and empowerment of single mothers. Your generous donations will be carefully used to fund the operation of 'Self-Care Workshops for Single Mothers'. Donations are accepted on our donation page here.
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