Giving Month2023 Essay4

Title： The work-life balance I found in the U.S.

Author： Satojun

October 5th, 2023, a mother and a daughter sitting together at the boarding gate of the 3rd terminal, Haneda International Airport.

A 10,734 km long trip, right before the boarding for Houston.

Departed with full of excitement for traveling abroad for the first time. Also filled with a sense of relief to be able to depart in a positive spirit, after having to carry out all necessary procedures for travel, packing, and getting loads of work done weeks before departure.

“I want to travel with my daughter” - The thoughts and plans immediately came to my mind, to the question of what I want to be doing a year from now. This was during the single mother’s group reflection session which was held last year.

The plan didn’t end up as a dream - thanks to the 1-week special leave for my 20-year-long service at work.

As a working professional

I have been working for one company which I joined as a new graduate. During my career, I have married, transferred, divorced, and given birth to a daughter as a single mother.

To raise my daughter, my motivation for work has changed to “earn income”.

I successfully returned to work upon maternity leave and managed to work hard with the support of my colleagues, which enabled me to work shortened hours, even in sales.

After finishing work at 17:00, picking up my daughter from daycare, getting home, preparing meals, and putting her to sleep, I had to tackle the backlogged work.

As my work performance and results started to show, my body was screaming for help – I was diagnosed with breast cancer when my daughter was just three years old.

It came to me as a shock, but I have a daughter, and I can’t be beaten by the disease – I told myself to move forward.

During a year and 4 months of treatment, thankfully my work has allowed me to work mainly from home and my work became a place where I could hold “myself” together.

I was transferred to the Planning Department in the spring, nearing the end of the treatment. Despite facing some initial confusion in the new role, my motivation for work also changed.

If you’re going to work anyway, why don’t I enjoy it? I also wanted to show my daughter the way I approach work, leading by example.

At the same time, this was a period to realize the importance of having a balance of work, childrearing, household chores, and self-care.

Obstacle in first grade at junior school

In April 2023, as my daughter enrolled in junior school, I was again transferred to another department.

This time I could hardly work from home and was unable to deliver my role’s responsibilities, as I was putting my priority on my daughter.

“I don’t want to go to school”, says my daughter, who hesitated to go to school and me, working empty minded with the newly assigned role.

I lost the balance of work and childrearing; half a year have passed by with losing confidence and feeling discouraged and despaired.

To the US, here we come!

As I wanted to change something, I looked back on the sheet I filled out last year at the group reflection session and decided to go on a trip to the US.

I felt reassured to travel with my daughter for the first time, as my best friend and her family is living in the US. I also wanted my daughter to feel the new view of the world.

Volleyball game at Junior high school

On day seven of our stay, we went to see the volleyball game to cheer for my best friend’s daughter.

The game started at 6 pm on Thursday night.

In Japan, it is quite rare to see parents who go to watch every practice game, even more so on weekdays.

But the games we were at, there were 3 rows of seats, 50 audiences, in the school gymnasium. Mostly consisted of student’s parents, even saw a doctor in their work gear.

According to my best friend, it is quite usual to arrange their work time to cheer for their children. It was a heated game and there were shouts of joy as the game-deciding spike was made.

From hereon

I refreshed myself both mentally and physically through this trip.

My daughter is now enjoying her school life in her own way. She loves P.E. classes, soccer, and basketball.

I also started to enjoy work, more than before. More than anything, I value and prioritize my time with my daughter, cheering regardless of whether training or matches.

It’s not simple to execute a childrearing-focused work style.

When I feel lost or worried, I plan to attend the group reflection to find the balance, by asking myself, verbalizing my thoughts, and expressing myself to my peers.

I plan to do another mother-and-daughter trip to the US in two years.

It’s such a precious time, talking to my daughter about where to visit on our next trip.

Call for Donations
Thank you for reading this essay to the end. This essay was written by Single Mother Satojun for the Giving Campaign for Single Mothers 2023. The non-profit organization Single Mothers Sisterhood supports the self-care of single mothers' minds and bodies. Your generous donations will be carefully used to fund the operation of 'Self-Care Workshops for Single Mothers' and 'Expressive Recovery Programs'. The well-being of single mothers  is essential, not only for themselves but also for their children. Your support would mean a lot to us.

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